April 30, 2016

A quick laugh

My Contribution to Earth Day 2012

My Contribution to Earth Day 2012

Okay so I am a day late. My contribution to Earth Day 2012 is to tell you about a Saturday afternoon trip (March 3rd to be exact) to the movies with my six-year old grandson to see what I have deemed to be the worst film of 2012 ...
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Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking…

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking…

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking… Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. “Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. “First we swim around them a few times with ...
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How to Give a Cat a Pill

How to Give a Cat a Pill

  1) Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while hold pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop ...
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Subject: Complete or Finished?

Subject: Complete or Finished?

Tip of the hat to gpabud who knows this to be a fact,  After more than 55 years with the same woman he still refers to her as his trophy bride   Complete or Finished? *************** No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words ...
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Drinking With a Minnesota Girl

Drinking With a Minnesota Girl

DRINKING WITH A MINNESOTA GIRL A Mexican, an Arab, and a Minnesota girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer he throws his glass in the air pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces He says, “In Mexico, our glasses are so ...
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Fun for Retirees- dealing with Obambots

Fun for Retirees- dealing with Obambots

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Kate, my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. . When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.  We went ...
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Let me tell you about my weekend

Let me tell you about my weekend

. A balding, white haired man from Chewbacca Lake in Florida, walked into a jewelery store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.  He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his ...
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I’ve never been in Cahoots.

I’ve never been in Cahoots.

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an ...
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Shave and a Haircut

Shave and a Haircut

**************** An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells ...
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Going Green–errr recycling with the IRS

Going Green–errr recycling with the IRS

  At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,? “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. ...
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Batboy Named Algae Czar

Batboy Named Algae Czar

Snarky Basterd Conservative Daily News Batboy Named Algae Czar DISTRICT OF CRIMINALS — Fresh off blowing hot air at the press about the dire need to move U.S. energy dependence from oil to algae, President Barack “Downgrade” Obama today took daring steps, naming Batboy as the nation’s first Algae Czar. In ...
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Why athletes can’t have regular jobs

Why athletes can’t have regular jobs

strike 3 These people are astounding…their combined IQ is probably under 100!  i don’t think the “mensa” group is worried about being infiltrated. [out of all 15 of these, the 1st is my favorite!]   Alphamom Why athletes can’t have regular jobs- real quotes from some of our “so ...
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For ice cream lovers, The Barocky Road

For ice cream lovers, The Barocky Road

. In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: ” Barocky Road .” Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not ...
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rleeeermey-bo

Marine Empathy

  BECAUSE SOMETIMES WE JUST NEED A SMILE. A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired, he remained in the military and ...
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