You Poor Unfortunate Souls, So Sad, So True

You Poor Unfortunate Souls, So Sad, So True

- in Contributors, Features, Grumpy Daily Headlines, Moos Room
433
@Moos

 

I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty,
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch.
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch.
.
And I fortunately know a little magic,
It’s a talent that I always have possessed,
And dear citizen, please don’t laugh,
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (Pathetic)


You poor unfortunate souls…
.

I had the misfortune of catching Hillary Clinton’s speech somewhere in Iowa on Friday afternoon.  Yes, this would be yesterday, following the announcement that the James Comey was reopening the FBI’s Hillary Clinton e-mail case in light of new, ‘related evidence’ found in an ‘unrelated case’ (yet another Team-Clinton-related investigation having something to do with a ‘Weiner’ – why does this keep happening to the Clintons, they seem so nice?).  It was during this press conference that I realized something wonderful,  something horrible, and something all-to-perfect to deny – Hillary Ramrod Clinton looks an awful lot like… 
.
Disney’s Ursula, the Sea Witch. 
 .
Yes, America may very well vote for a Disney Villain as the next President of the United States.  
.
Question for you:  Did you ever begin to build a multi-hundred piece jigsaw puzzle in which you look in vain to find the missing piece which brings the rest of the pieces together – dare I say, into complete focus?  For me, Hillary / Ursula, was the puzzle piece which had been skirting the periphery of my mind for the past several weeks.  When it hit me I tried not to laugh, but when it did, it was loud, and it must have sounded a little maniacal.  I laughed hard enough enough to bring my son from his room at the end of the hallway and look at me kind of funny.  “Are you okay Dad?” he asked.
.
“Pretty close to perfect kidd-o, I’ve just put the 2016 election into perspective.”  I must have scared the boy a little because he didn’t leave after I told him that “Yes, I am ‘okie dokie’, no problem-o Senor Tim”.
.
“Um, you want me to call Mom or sit out here, and you know, ‘watch you’ for a while?” he asked.  
.
“No need dude, I haven’t lost my gourd as yet, and during this particular election season, well, that’s saying quite a bit about your Dad’s grasp on reality.”  I assured him that I hadn’t lost my mind again as he walked slowly down the hall looking over his shoulder to make sure I was still ‘okay’.  Y
.
Yup, yours truly is just fine following my most recent revelation / outburst, but what’s up with all the “Women’s Issues” courtesy of her crack team of staff writers?  Since when did our Nation have it’s ‘pee-pee’ removed?  I went looking for a transcript of Madame Secretary’s speech (at which point no one had told her how she felt about having her server investigation opened once again – so she didn’t mention it because talking about it, well, that might make it REAL) but the things she did say, well, let’s just say that I felt completely out of touch with an America built differently than the one I’ve known my whole life.  Now I need to listen to the speech and manually type a transcript of what she said, out loud, and in public.  I will not do this for me, I will do it for you.  Why?  Because I was WAY too happy yesterday afternoon, I need a good level-setting knowing that what I heard was not a speech about ‘two Americas’ as popularized by Algore, but rather ONE America!
.
An America in which you’d better keep the seat down.
.
Or else… 
.
Coming soon to a blog post near you:
.
The Vagina Idealogue
.
Yeah, I’m going there.
.
And I’m pretty sure it won’t be pretty.
.

About the author

identicon
My name is Mike Kane. I've been writing stories for years. Most are a release valve from the weirdness of everyday life. Some of these will find their way here, others will fade off into the ether. A select few will be sent via e-mail directly to friends, family, and sometimes complete strangers (you have been warned (assuming that you are 'completely strange')). I've been in Sales all of my adult life. Sometimes sales are good, sometimes sales are bad, but in reality, 'life' is always good (regardless of sales). Well, 'LIFE' is a lot better than the alternative, at least. p.s.: No cows were injured in the generation of this blog. However, a trace amount of methane was released moments ago... For this, if nothing else, I am sorry.

Facebook Comments

You may also like

Sorry for the incovenience. We’re working on it so… UPDATE — We’re back!

Every now and then I find myself tinkering